THE WHY? FOUNDATION - TOUCHSTONE THURSDAY
A
note from Allison W. Gryphon:
In creating the Why? Foundation,
working on the documentary What the F@#-
is Cancer and Why Does Everybody Have it? and fighting my own cancer
openly, many unexpected and extraordinary people have come into my life. Most
surprisingly and disturbing are the number of young people who have faced
cancer themselves or helped others fight the fight. Most recently I met Kathryn
Ferrara, a recent college graduate, with unfortunately and fortunately, a
profound understanding on what it’s like to stand by someone struck by cancer.
Thanks, cancer by Kathryn Ferrara
I have been surrounded by cancer my whole life, and I never
really knew it. I center my life on a few key things, three of which are my
family, my faith and my work. And cancer has tangibly left its mark on all of
them. Here are three ways it has shaped those pillars.
Mind over matter.
Literally.
There’s the saying that if you haven’t had cancer, then you
know someone who has. True enough for me since the day I was born. I have a
grandfather who survived colon cancer back when it was less curable and more
terminal. He was in his mid-forties, and it didn’t look good. I mean, when does
cancer ever look good? It doesn’t. But my grandfather was stubborn. There are
supposedly five stages of grief in accepting a terminal illness (denial, anger,
bargaining, depression and acceptance). Well, my grandfather never got past
denial. He simply refused the prognosis and shut the door on death. Everyone in
my family agrees that he survived on sheer mental willpower. He passed that on
to my mom who passed it on to her kids, including me. He also passed along a
passion for literature and writing. My first gift that my grandfather gave me
was a copy of Poe’s “The Raven” with his notes in the margin. Now I have a
stack of poems from my grandfather and a journalism degree that was inspired by
them. Now every October when we celebrate my grandfather’s birthday, I’m that
much more thankful. Oh and he turned 81 last month. Denial has doubled his
life. So, thanks cancer.
Slap in the face
My grandfather had the good kind of denial when it came to
cancer. I experienced the “too-bad-to-be-true” kind of denial in high school. I
was in ninth grade. It was a Monday in December, and I started talking with a
friend about a sixth grader, Molly, who was battling leukemia and how it was
great that the whole school was really coming together and supporting each
other (blah blah clichés). My friend paused and said that Molly had died over
the weekend. I hadn’t heard. The news cut through all those dumb clichés. It’s unfair
that an 11-year-old’s death is what it takes to shake off clichés in general.
Up until that point, my whole life was a cliché. After, things got more real.
How I looked at life. How I thought about faith and the future. It all became
more real. So for that, thanks cancer.
Not just a job
Two years into college, and it was time to finally find a
real job (read: unpaid internship). About a hundred applications later, and I
was offered a summer internship at The National Children’s Cancer Society. It was
ideal career-wise since I’d be dabbling in marketing communications, social
media management and getting a feel for the non-profit scene. But it was also
ideal life-wise. Transformative really in how I thought about careers. The NCCS
is all about passion. The organization is on a very clear-cut mission to help
childhood cancer survivors and their families. I can only speak for the
marketing side of the organization, but every decision, from the organization’s
re-branding to the monthly survivor spotlight story, was important. Each
decision carried a heavier weight, i.e. these cancer survivors. It’s the kind
of work that not only sustains you but motivates you and encourages you to keep
working. It’s the kind of the work that inspires you to jump in the deep end
and reach out to people who are fighting cancer, ignorant of cancer or scared
of cancer.
So here I am, mid-twenties, and just starting to realize and
accept cancer’s role in my life. I never really knew it until I started to
think about the big question, “how does cancer affect me?” And darn it, that
sneaky little sucker has affected me a lot. It’s made me appreciate a family
member more; it’s made me cast off a clichéd life for a more grounded one; it’s
made my work less self-centered and more others-centered. So for that, thanks
cancer.
