Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts

Thursday, June 27, 2013

THE EXPERIENCE OF LIVING WITH CANCER

TOUCHSTONE THURSDAYS

by Veteran Cancer Fighter Janice Thorup


Do your work as though you had a thousand years to live and as if you knew you must die tomorrow.

Shakers, famous for their woodworking and simple lifestyle, took this bit of philosophy and made of their lives works of simple beauty.

The experience of living with cancer has provided me with a similar focus. What work I do must be done for the sake of the work itself. I may not live to see its outcomes. I plant a small garden knowing that I may not live to see the harvest and the act thereby takes on a greater significance—it becomes an act of worship, a gift to the earth, to those who will come after me. And the gift is returned to me in the pleasure I take in actions that are disassociated from their results. I bask in the action itself, in the moment at hand, without wandering into that unclear domain of the future.

In 1995 Janice was diagnosed with Chronic Mylegenous Leukemia and given less than a year to live. Proving cancer wrong on a daily basis, Janice is happily married, a proud mother and grandmother enjoying the good life in Colorado.


Click Here to Read Janice Thorup’s Short Story The Blast Cells





www.thewhyfoundation.org

Thursday, June 6, 2013

CANCER IS NOT ON MY RADAR ANYMORE: A STORY OF SURVIVAL

TOUCHSTONE THURSDAYS
by Veteran Cancer Fighter Janice Thorup





Cancer is not on my radar anymore. Leukemia plays its song in the background of my life, coming to the foreground just twice a year for testing. And while I’ve fallen in and out of remission, for the past five years I’ve been fine and the thought of leukemia has faded.

I still find myself telling new friends that I have leukemia because it was so life-defining for me. For years, it was the all consuming fact of my life: in order to know me, you have to know that I have been dancing with leukemia for 18 years.

Even though my disease is well managed (with a drug that has only minimal side effects), even though my doctor has said that I will most likely not die from leukemia, I retain the sense of a limited lifespan. I don’t feel the reasonable expectation of a future that others have. But this is largely a good thing. I understand the preciousness of life, the gift of life itself—waking to a cool breeze on a summer morning, watching the earth awaken from the lifeless forms of winter into the splendor of spring, drinking a cold glass of water or a warm cup of coffee. These smallest of sensory pleasures, not measured in money or time, have become enough for me.  I am mostly content with what life brings to me.

And there’s more: I have faced Death—have lived for a time thinking that I would die. I have faced Fear and learned about Acceptance. I would not trade these lessons for any amount of good health.



In 1995 Janice was diagnosed with Chronic Mylegenous Leukemia and given less than a year to live. Proving cancer wrong on a daily basis, Janice is happily married, a proud mother and grandmother enjoying the good life in Colorado.


Click Here to Read Janice Thorup’s Short Story The Blast Cells



www.thewhyfoundation.org

Monday, June 3, 2013

Power of Music Mondays: “My Give A Damn’s Busted”

Power of Music Mondays
by Allison W. Gryphon





“I'd like to give it one more try, but, my give a damn's busted.”

There is that moment in fighting cancer, when it hits the core of your being. A friend and co-worker recently pointed out to me that, in my fight against cancer, my give a damn is truly busted and then she sent me this song.

Feisty. Empowering. Tough. It’s a good one to get your fight on against cancer and sometimes a damn good theme song is the difference between wanting to get up and face the day or not. This one gets me moving every time.




Click Here to purchase My Give A Damn’s Busted from the album Delicious Surprise on itunes.

Click Here to visit Jo Dee Messina’s official website.



"My Give A Damn's Busted"
Well you filled up my head with so many lies
You've twisted my heart 'til something snapped inside
I'd like to give it one more try
But, my give a damn's busted
You can crawl back home, say you were wrong
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long
Go ahead and water the lawn
My give a damn's busted
[Chorus:]
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, sorry, nothing
You can say you've got issues
You can say you're a victim
It's all your parents' fault, I mean after all you didn't pick em
Maybe somebody else has got time to listen
My give a damn's busted
Well your therapist says it was all a mistake
A product of the Prozac and your codependent ways
So who's your enabler these days
My give a damn's busted
[Chorus:]
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, still nothing
It's a desperate situation
No tellin what you'll do
If I don't forgive you, you say your life is through
Come on give me something I can use
My give a damn's busted
[Chorus:]
Well, I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, man, sorry
Just nothing, no
You've really done it this time
My give a damn's busted



About Power of Music Mondays

I received many gifts while I was going through my cancer fight. They were all amazing and helpful. What stands out to me more than anything is music. The songs and playlists I was sent became a huge part of my treatment. It’s the one thing you can always have close by. It can turn you around and slip itself around your soul to make everything ok, if even just for a moment. Looking back, I'm not sure how I would have done without it. ~Allison

The Power of Music is extraordinary. The right song can inspire, empower, comfort and redirect anyone. Cancer fighters and their families are no exception.

Every Monday, The Why? Foundation will celebrate a song and an artist that has given us a musical gift.

If you have a song that has helped you or someone you know fight the fight, we want to hear about it. Please send an email to info@thewhyfoundation.org with your story and your song.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Power of Music Mondays: “Beautiful”

Power of Music Mondays
by Allison W. Gryphon






“Don’t you bring me down today.”

I remember the first time I heard this song after it all started happening. I was in the car. One natural breast. One carved up from a mastectomy awaiting reconstruction. No hair. A swollen arm in a lymphedema sleeve and glove. Fading energy. Loads of determination. Loads of frustration. And looking for whatever my shot of, “keep going” was going to be for the day.

My iPod was on shuffle. I wasn’t expecting it. That first whisper of, “Don’t look at me” sent a shiver down my spine. In an instant, the music owned me. Tears poured down my face. Not for the fear, but for the release. For being understood. Even though I was all by myself, I wasn’t. The song played and my rage poured out, transforming into a brilliant beauty. It was a reminder that I could do this. That I would do this. That my spirit was not only beautiful, but powerful and cancer didn’t get to take that away from me.

I turned the song up as loud as it would go, played it over and over again on my whole drive into work, and sang along at the top of my lungs… and as it turned out, it was a pretty great day.



Click Here to purchase “Beautiful” from the album Stripped.
Click Here to visit Christina Aguilera’s official website.

"Beautiful"

Don't look at me
Every day is so wonderful
Then suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down... Oh no
So don't you bring me down today
To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The pieces gone, left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh, no
So don't you bring me down today...
No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what we say
(no matter what we say)
We're the song inside the tune
Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
(and everywhere we go)
The sun will always shine
(sun will always shine)
And tomorrow we might wake on the other side
We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh, no
So don't you bring me down today
Oh, yeah, don't you bring me down today, yeah
Don't you bring me down ooh... today


About Power of Music Mondays

I received many gifts while I was going through my cancer fight. They were all amazing and helpful. What stands out to me more than anything is music. The songs and playlists I was sent became a huge part of my treatment. It’s the one
thing you can always have close by. It can turn you around and slip itself around your soul to make everything ok, if even just for a moment. Looking back, I'm not sure how I would have done without my music. ~Allison


The Power of Music is extraordinary. The right song can inspire, empower, comfort and redirect anyone. Cancer fighters and their families are no exception.

Every Monday, The Why? Foundation will celebrate a song and an artist that has given us a musical gift.

If you have a song that has helped you or someone you know fight the fight, we want to hear about it. Please send an email to info@thewhyfoundation.org with your story and your song.

Friday, February 8, 2013

A United Front: Filmmaker Allison W. Gryphon’s Battle with Breast Cancer


THE WHY? FOUNDATION - TOUCHSTONE THURSDAY

by Derek Martin Wade

If you were to ask Allison about her bout with stage III breast cancer she would not tell you about the three surgeries, six rounds of chemotherapy or month of radiation treatments she endured. She would probably not tell you about the tattoos burned into her chest that guided the lasers to the exact location of the cancer cells but she might tell you that she didn’t have a ‘bout’ with cancer. It was not a sparring match but a dirty fight, not a skirmish or a battle but a war.  Allison W. Gryphon; award-winning screenwriter, novelist and filmmaker brought every weapon in her arsenal to cancer and now she has two more; her forthcoming film What the F@#- is Cancer and Why Does Everybody Have It? and the TheWhy?Foundation.org

In Gryphon’s new film, What the F@#- is Cancer and Why Does Everybody Have It?, set to join the film festival circuit this summer, people are asked to describe cancer in one word. In my conversation with Allison, she said that when she asked her oncologist, who was at first stumped by the question, he pinpointed it in three words, “Enemy number one.”



Allison never expected to get “Enemy number one” let alone a cancer that had progressed as far as it had. She was in an age group of women who were less likely to get cancer; she was 38 years old, well below the 45 year olds and older group who were ten times more likely to be diagnosed with the same disease. In addition, a history of breast cancer did not exist in her family. Allison was also a self-admitted pilates addict and was in excellent physical shape. She cared about her body and what she put into it. She ate a healthy diet but was diagnosed with cancer anyway.

Three days after her diagnosis, Allison sat in a coffee house drinking the best coffee she had ever had and she felt “wide awake.” Everything that mattered, mattered so much more. She would no longer live her life the same and nothing would be taken for granted. It was a wake-up call.

Allison W. Gryphon did not live her life preparing for a battle with cancer but when cancer did come she was in top fighting form. German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, “The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy” and Allison was about to become breast cancer’s worst enemy. Allison believes that it is her healthy lifestyle that contributed to her success and gave her the strength to carry on through the rigorous chemotherapy and the cancer cell-killing radiation. In addition, she enriched her body by redefining her healthy diet by “eating clean;” a diet of organic, unrefined, minimally processed and locally grown food including antibiotic-free and growth hormone-free meats.

Allison believes that a cancer patient has to be a cancer fighter, to be proactive in their own recovery and to ask for help. She says “Fighting cancer is a team sport.” Allison’s team includes an army of friends and the The Why? Foundation.

There are hundreds of breast cancer websites that provide information in black and white text, statistics in graphs and pie charts bordered by pop up ads selling everything pink. Websites like these are filled with the ‘whats;’ What is Cancer? What are the symptoms? What are the treatments? What are the drugs and what are the chances? Nothing in these websites, including the website for the largest fundraiser for cancer research in the world aside from the U.S government, offers support for the newly diagnosed, provides emotional support for the recovering patient and answers the question ‘why?’

Allison Gryphon’s The Why? Foundation strives to provide a place for cancer patients and survivors to find answers, seek out support, community and real help. This place is an outlet for Allison’s experience as patient and survivor offering guideposts for others as well as a place for other sufferers and survivors to share their experiences. The Why? Foundation tells the recovering patient what to expect after treatment like how the simple things in our daily lives suddenly become very difficult.

There were slightly more than 230,000 new cases of invasive breast cancer diagnosed in the U.S. in 2011 of whom Allison W. Gryphon was one of them. That year almost forty thousand women died from the disease in the U.S. alone. That’s more than all the highway deaths and almost three times the homicide rate in the U.S. Allison produced her film for those cancer patients recently diagnosed and the additional 500,000 and more who are in varying stages of treatment as a means to create a united front to combat the deadly disease.

Today Allison W. Gryphon is believed to be cancer-free, is checked quarterly and is still fighting.



Thursday, January 31, 2013

Helping Others With What You've Got: How Alia Let Go Of Her Locks


THE WHY? FOUNDATION - TOUCHSTONE THURSDAY
by Why? Foundation Street Team Member, Alia Tarraf

I love having long hair.  Its part of my personality.  It tells the world a big part of who I am and what I'm feeling on any particular day.  I can wear it part way up on days I want to feel like a Disney princess.  Or pulled back in a bun when I mean business.  Or a messy ponytail when I feel artistic and creative.  Sometimes I even wear it down just because I want to hide from the world.

Like so many women, my hair is a part of who I am and very often, I've allowed it to define me.  We're told that its a part of our beauty.  And our beauty is so wrapped up in who we are and can unfortunately dictate our confidence levels.


So when I saw my friend, Julie, with a freshly shorn bob at a party after college one night, I marched up to her and demanded to know what happened to her long beautiful chocolate brown hair.  She replied nonchalantly, "I gave it to Locks of Love."  Oh great, some hippy dippy charity.  "What's that?"  I asked, bewildered.  "It's a charity that makes hairpieces for people who don't have hair due to a medical condition."

No.  No, I was not going to feel guilty for this.  Julie wasn't condemning me at all, she just simply told me what I had asked.  She had almost shrugged.  Shrugged off that she didn't care her long hair was gone.  Now, I know this all might sound incredibly vain and silly, but I had somehow linked my worth to my beauty, i.e. my hair.  Julie was helping someone else, and had the self-confidence to do it, and I didn't.

I went to bed that night and couldn't stop thinking about it.

I decided to go on the Locks of Love website, just to check it out.  Not that I would do anything.  It turns out that Locks of Love not only provides hairpieces for people who don't have hair due to a medical condition, they specifically help disadvantaged children under age 21 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis.


 "Our mission is to return a sense of self, confidence and normalcy to children suffering from hair loss by utilizing donated ponytails to provide the highest quality hair prosthetics to financially disadvantaged children.  The children receive hair prostheses free of charge or on a sliding scale, based on financial need."

Seriously?  Who are these people?  Because they just turned me into a jackass in about two seconds.  Was I really going to let my vanity and insecurity come before a disadvantaged child with no hair because of a medical diagnosis?  Who had I become?  My problems suddenly seemed super lame.  1. These kids are dealing with a medical condition, from alopecia areata to cancer.  2. They lose their hair because of it.  3.  They don't have the means to fix it.  Yeah, it was time to get over myself.  I needed to do this and if I lost my attractiveness, well, hopefully it would grow back.

I walked into the salon the next day.  I had googled salons in my area that were associated with Locks of Love and this one gave a free haircut with a hair donation.  They have them all over the country.  The hairstylist braided my hair, measured the minimum 10 inches required to donate, asked if I was ready, and cut it off.  I'm not going to lie, I may have cried a little.

The salon sent it in the mail to Locks of Love for me the next day.


I'm not saying you need to go out and cut off all your hair.  But I learned there are so many ways we can help others.  Something as small as donating your hair can go such a long way and mean so much to someone else.  This was a wake-up call.  Sometimes I get so focused on myself and can't see past my own nose.  Which, by the way, I wish was smaller.  But seriously, when I remember that so many others have been dealt a much harder hand, I am so humbled.  And I can help.  Even if I don't have the means.  I can donate my hair, I can run an errand, I can volunteer.

And you know what's funny?   I liked my bob.
~




A reminder from India Arie - I Am Not My Hair



Thursday, December 13, 2012

A True Warrior: Deerfield ball boy Luke Strotman is on his way to beating cancer for a third time


THE WHY? FOUNDATION - TOUCHSTONE THURSDAY
 


By Josh Rosenblat on Sept. 28, 2012
This story appears in the Sept. 28 issue of Deerprints.
Luke Strotman stands in the parking lot of Adams Field, silhouetted against a mostly gray sky streaked with the orange rays of a setting sun. Luke watches the Deerfield sophomore football team’s game against Waukegan. Calm, talkative and joking, Luke will be taking the home turf for the final time in just a couple of hours as a member of the DHS varsity football team.
Although he has been a part of the team for the past four years, Luke has never caught a pass, made a tackle and isn't listed on the team's roster. That doesn’t mean that Luke fails to help DHS win though. As the ball boy, Strotman sprints on and off the field giving the referees fresh footballs from the sidelines whenever they are needed.
“Honestly, if he didn’t have a shaved head, you wouldn’t know he had cancer,” Mark Strotman, Luke’s brother, said.
Luke has waged a 13 year war against two types of cancer, with a third battle commencing this summer.





When Luke was 4 years old, doctors told the Strotman family that Luke had a cancer known as neuroblastoma. The cancer is a tumor that develops in nerve tissue and is usually found in infants and young children. Luke underwent radiation treatment and the neuroblastoma eventually subsided.
Nine years later, however, Luke said he was feeling increasingly sick. After going to the hospital, tests came back with dreadful news. At 13, Luke faced his second battle with cancer. As a result of the chemotherapy used to treat the neuroblastoma, Luke developed acute myeloid leukemia (AML), a cancer that begins in the bone marrow and can quickly move into the blood stream. In order to cure AML, Luke received a bone marrow transplant from his brother, Mark.



This summer, Luke sat in a hospital room at the Lurie Children’s STAR Clinic in Chicago. After he arrived, two Chicago Cubs players paid him a visit. Tony Campana, who is now cured of Hodgkin's lymphoma after ten years of treatment and Anthony Rizzo, who also battled the disease, gave Luke a Cubs jersey with his last name on the back.
But what Campana and Rizzo really gave Strotman was a jumpstart on the optimism he would need to get through the next few minutes, let alone the next week, month or year.
“The happiness only lasted an hour,” Beth Strotman, Luke’s mother, wrote on Luke’s CaringBridge page, a website for cancer patients that updates friends and family of the patient’s progress. “Dr. Kletzel came in to tell us that the blood test showed blasts, or immature white blood cells, were present. That could only mean one thing: our hearts are broken and four years after battling AML, the leukemia is back.”
Luke began a new journey to defeat cancer on June 18, 2012. He began his chemotherapy less than a week after his seventeenth birthday.



During Luke’s first round of chemotherapy this summer, Mark shot him a quick text while at work just to check up on him. Mark asked Luke how he was doing and what he was up to.
“Nothing. Getting chemo,” Luke texted his 22-year-old brother.
Nothing. Getting chemo.
It is that passing reference of the potentially deadly treatment of chemotherapy that makes Luke such a hero to Mark. It isn’t that Luke doesn’t understand what he goes through, Mark says, but his optimism always shines through as he is willing to go through whatever it takes to get better.
“I texted him in order to boost his spirits,” Mark said. “But he boosted my spirits with that text. He is being such a trooper through all of this…here I am worrying about Luke getting this chemotherapy and he is just kind of shaking it off. I’ll remember that text for the rest of my life.”
Evidenced by his nonchalant text message, Luke’s positive outlook on his situation gives not only himself the strength to keep fighting but it inspires his family to keep up the fight alongside him.
“Having a positive attitude is half the battle. Our family could not be more positive about it and that is led by Luke. Luke is probably the most positive out of all of us. He keeps us going, which is unbelievable,” Mark said.



On Aug. 28 just before 7 p.m., Luke Strotman walked out to the mound at Wrigley Field. He peered down the 60 foot, six inch path towards his target: Cubs pitcher Brooks Raley. Pitching out of the stretch, Strotman lifted his left leg up off the dirt cocked his right arm back and let the ball go.
“I was worried. I thought that it was going to seem like a long throw,” Luke said. “But once I got on the mound, it did not seem like that long of a throw.”
Earlier in August, the Cubs sent Luke a video featuring Rizzo and Campana, along with owner and family friend of the Strotmans Tom Ricketts, encouraging him to keep battling against leukemia and offered Luke the opportunity to throw out the first pitch at Wrigley Field.
“When Rizzo said, ‘We want you to come throw out the first pitch,’ I nearly lost it,” Luke said.
But for Luke, the first pitch was only a small part of what made the night of Aug. 28 so special.
The Strotmans were expecting the results from tests that Luke had taken to come back either that day or the next. Based on the results, Luke’s doctors could determine whether his AML was in remission.
“We were all kind of on pins and needles,” Mark said. “It was funny because we didn’t know whether we wanted to find out before Luke threw out the first pitch because if he wasn’t in remission, that was pretty much bad news.”
Before arriving at Wrigley, Beth informed those who were traveling with the family that she just received a call from Dr. Elaine Morgan with the results of the tests. The tests came back showing that the cancer was in remission.
“I got a little teary because, you know, I don’t have to go through any more of this chemo and stuff,” Luke said. “It could not have been a better night: throwing out the first pitch at a Cubs game and finding out I’m cancer free.”
Although being in remission doesn’t mean that Luke is totally cured of AML, it does mean that he can start to prepare for another bone marrow transplant later this year.
“He’s as good as he could be right now,” Mark said.
The night served as a testament to the strength of Luke and his family. Moments of pure joy like this are hard to explain and have been few and far between for the Strotmans this summer.
“It was just unbelievable news. It couldn’t have been better timing. It was honestly like it was out of a movie,” Mark said. “We were on our way to have this amazing night and we found out some even more amazing news.”



With beads of sweat dripping over their silver facemasks and onto the turf at Adams Field during preseason two-a-days, head coach Steve Winiecki’s Warriors were getting ready for their first game against Zion-Benton. Coming off a conference championship in 2011, every member of Winiecki’s team was hungry to get back onto the field, even Luke Strotman.
Normally, Luke would be out at practice helping with bags of equipment and would be another set of watchful eyes for the coaching staff. This year, however, Strotman wasn’t physically present at Deerfield’s training camp like he was in the past.
As position battles raged and coaches installed plays throughout the summer, Luke endured chemotherapy and constant trips to the hospital in an effort to be ready for the Warriors’ opener on Aug. 30.
After a few rounds of chemotherapy, clearance from Dr. Morgan and three days removed from finding out that his cancer was in remission, Luke was ready for week one.
“I just remember walking out of our walkthrough before we got on the bus and there was Luke and his dad. Luke was ready to go,” Winiecki said.
Although neither Luke nor Winiecki had any doubt that Strotman would be attending the game, their emotions were hard to overcome.
“When I just saw coach Winiecki for the first time in who knows how long, I really thought I was going to cry and I thought he was going to cry also. We gave each other a big, big hug and he just wanted to know how I was doing.  I told him, ‘I was doing fine. I told you that I would do everything I could to get to this game and I’m right here and ready,’” Luke said.
Luke’s relationship with Winiecki began when he coached Luke’s older brothers Mark and Jack in high school. After getting to know each other better through Luke’s years at DHS, Luke now looks at Winiecki as a mentor and role model.
“Four years later, Winiecki is a guy I look up to. He’s one of the reasons why I just keep fighting hard. Every time I wanted to just quit the battle, I just remember him always telling us that you don’t ever give up the fight, you keep fighting until the final whistle and that is, just simply, what I did. I don’t think I could have gone through this without Winiecki,” Luke said.
The feeling, Winiecki insists, is more than mutual. Winiecki, along with the Warrior football team look to Luke for motivation and as an example of what persistence, perseverance and hard work can accomplish.
“We look at Luke as our inspiration,” Winiecki said. “It’s that you’ve got this guy who is fighting this disease with every ounce of energy he has and putting up this battle every day… He’s so selfless and this is what gets me so choked up about it…You talk about ‘fighting the good fight,’ we talk about that in the game, but that is so trivial compared to what he’s doing. And those are the lessons. You know, winning is fantastic. We want to have conference championships but the lessons we get out of sports in general, and football in particular, is being selfless and sacrificing for some greater good. That is what Luke’s doing, but his greater good is his life.”



As one last Hail Mary attempt by DHS quarterback Ben Ethridge fell to the turf to end a 14-7 loss to Waukegan, Luke raised both hands to his head, looked towards the dark September sky and winced.
Luke rarely showed signs of anguish when battling cancer, but as the clock struck zero and with the Warriors down by seven, he seemed vulnerable. He wasn’t vulnerable in the sense that he was weak, but it was as if his positive and hopeful personality vanished for that instant.
For Luke, Deerfield football isn’t just another sports team. He never appears sorry for himself that he can’t play, it is simply enough for Luke to be a part of the team. That was all Luke needed to drive him toward getting back on the field against Zion-Benton and maintaining an encouraging outlook even when doctors diagnosed him with cancer for a third time.
But it isn’t cancer that is on the forefront of Luke’s mind right now; it is how the Warriors may fare without him. Luke’s senior season will be cut short as he prepares for his second bone marrow transplant in four years in an effort to win this battle and ultimately his war with cancer.
“I just expect the team to do what I always want them to do,” Strotman said. “That is just to play their hardest. I don’t care if they get a win or a loss. I just want to see them work their hardest. My season is coming to an end very soon and I just hope they continue playing hard even though they might have to spend the last four games of the year without me. I hope they still can keep up their spirits.”
Taking a lesson from Luke, keeping their spirits high shouldn’t be all too difficult.




Friday, December 7, 2012

Bronwyn the Brave by Allison W. Gryphon

THE WHY? FOUNDATION - TOUCHSTONE THURSDAY
 


I wrote this story for my A.W. Gryphon Bits & Pieces Blog on 11 September 2011. It’s strange looking back on that now. That date came four days after my fifth of six chemotherapy sessions… and four days after I lost my dear friend and step-mom to brain cancer. I was bloated, bald, desperate for reconstructive surgery, being riddled with hot flashes and night sweats, exhausted and full of hope. When you are alone with your soul, that what’s you have to decide, are you willing to hang on to hope? That was never an issue for me. I was full of hope and fight like I didn’t know existed. I was also full on honesty and truth on a level I never knew existed. I’d always been a straight forward person, but with cancer it was magnified and I’m grateful that it still is. It’s that magnified truth that inspired this story of Bronwyn the Brave.

~

Brave. It’s a big word and honorable one. A crown that is never taken lightly by those on the giving or receiving end of it. Brave was a concept that Bronwyn had always admired. That she felt was the greatest compliment to anyone whom it was bestowed upon. A brave person was one to be celebrated and praised. Brave was a quality Bronwyn had a great deal of respect for accompanied by an adoration which she felt was welcomed and treasured by anyone on the receiving end of it no matter who or where the compliment came from. Until, that is, Bronwyn had a complete understanding of what one had to go through to be deemed, brave. Until the person on the receiving end of the title of brave was her.

Brave is one thing to someone presenting the compliment and something altogether different to the person receiving it. It isn’t that it is good or bad or negative, not at all. It is simply something you can’t imagine until you yourself have been deemed, “brave.” To date, that was Bronwyn’s largest lesson and realization in her journey.

She in no way wanted to complain, not at all, Bronwyn only wanted to be understood and was therefore always careful with her words when trying to explain her feelings. It was an honor for her to be thought of as an inspiration and to be held in such high esteem. It was taking quite a bit of getting used to as in Bronwyn’s mind she was simply rolling with the punches life had decided to send her way. She wanted to help and empower everyone she could, but what Bronwyn also wanted was to feel loved and to be loved, not because of what she was doing or how she was doing it, but because of who she was. Who she was completely. With all of the courage and fight she was exhibiting, for Bronwyn she was simply walking down the only path available to her. She was still a normal woman with dreams of love, career, romance and adventure. She lived for quietly watching the sun set, walking on the beach while the daylight kissed her skin and curling up under a warm blanket on a cold afternoon to watch movies and maybe order a pizza to enjoy with a good friend or a sweet love.

Bronwyn was many different things. Brave was only one of them. Brave wasn’t even something she realized she was until people began telling her that on a daily basis. It was the label that changed everything for her. For her core group of friends and family, brave was an addition to the Bronwyn they already knew. For those less close to her and just coming into her life, brave defined her or so it seemed in most cases. In the beginning that was alright, then slowly, but surely Bronwyn realized that brave put her in an invisible glass box on the shelf of a virtual museum where she could be celebrated and admired, but not touched or hugged or loved or understood for who she was as a complete person. As much as she understood and wholeheartedly appreciated the new phenomenon, the label of brave was the loneliest thing she had ever experienced in her life. It was truly the definition of a double-edged sword for her because as much as it tortured her it was the greatest compliment she had ever known.

In many ways Bronwyn had become untouchable to others overnight and that frightened her. As elated as she was to have become a brave and inspiring being to so many, knowing that there was no going back, Bronwyn could only wonder who could see past that and who would be able to come into her life beyond the brave and truly love her. The brave her, the scared her, the quiet, the adventurous, the annoying, the playful, the good, the bad, the ordinary… all of it. How many friends would she have? How many would lose sight of her? Who would someday walk through an Italian vineyard with her simply for the soft company, taste of the grapes and peaceful bliss of the moment without it being about walking beside the brave that defined her in so many ways to so many?

It was in fact a double-edged sword and the sword belonged to Bronwyn for the remainder of her existence. It was something that could not be changed and something that Bronwyn had no desire to change. Her experience and outlook was so incredibly different than what the general consensus from the outside looking in seemed to be. Bronwyn was happy with so much of what cancer had brought into her life. Everything was different. More exciting. Better. Nothing was out of reach. Impossible was a concept that no longer lived in her world. She was in the middle of experiencing the scariest, most empowering and most liberating gift that life would ever give her and she knew that. The diagnosis and journey through the fight had given Bronwyn a perspective on life she never would have had and which she held close to her heart, understanding all the while that cancer too was a double-edged sword which angered and freed her to extremes beyond comprehension.  

There were no decisions or rationalizations to be made. There was nothing here nor there to be done other than wait and see who did what and when as life continued. For Bronwyn all there was to do was express herself in the manner that felt most comfortable to her, a manner that allowed her to be. On some days that would be hard, on others liberating. It was all part of accepting the woman she was and the somewhat mythical character she was becoming. It was the beginning of Bronwyn the Brave.

awgryphon©

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Thanks, cancer by Kathryn Ferrara


THE WHY? FOUNDATION - TOUCHSTONE THURSDAY

A note from Allison W. Gryphon: 
In creating the Why? Foundation, working on the documentary What the F@#- is Cancer and Why Does Everybody Have it? and fighting my own cancer openly, many unexpected and extraordinary people have come into my life. Most surprisingly and disturbing are the number of young people who have faced cancer themselves or helped others fight the fight. Most recently I met Kathryn Ferrara, a recent college graduate, with unfortunately and fortunately, a profound understanding on what it’s like to stand by someone struck by cancer.



Thanks, cancer by Kathryn Ferrara

I have been surrounded by cancer my whole life, and I never really knew it. I center my life on a few key things, three of which are my family, my faith and my work. And cancer has tangibly left its mark on all of them. Here are three ways it has shaped those pillars.

Mind over matter. Literally.
There’s the saying that if you haven’t had cancer, then you know someone who has. True enough for me since the day I was born. I have a grandfather who survived colon cancer back when it was less curable and more terminal. He was in his mid-forties, and it didn’t look good. I mean, when does cancer ever look good? It doesn’t. But my grandfather was stubborn. There are supposedly five stages of grief in accepting a terminal illness (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). Well, my grandfather never got past denial. He simply refused the prognosis and shut the door on death. Everyone in my family agrees that he survived on sheer mental willpower. He passed that on to my mom who passed it on to her kids, including me. He also passed along a passion for literature and writing. My first gift that my grandfather gave me was a copy of Poe’s “The Raven” with his notes in the margin. Now I have a stack of poems from my grandfather and a journalism degree that was inspired by them. Now every October when we celebrate my grandfather’s birthday, I’m that much more thankful. Oh and he turned 81 last month. Denial has doubled his life. So, thanks cancer.

Slap in the face
My grandfather had the good kind of denial when it came to cancer. I experienced the “too-bad-to-be-true” kind of denial in high school. I was in ninth grade. It was a Monday in December, and I started talking with a friend about a sixth grader, Molly, who was battling leukemia and how it was great that the whole school was really coming together and supporting each other (blah blah clichés). My friend paused and said that Molly had died over the weekend. I hadn’t heard. The news cut through all those dumb clichés. It’s unfair that an 11-year-old’s death is what it takes to shake off clichés in general. Up until that point, my whole life was a cliché. After, things got more real. How I looked at life. How I thought about faith and the future. It all became more real. So for that, thanks cancer.

Not just a job
Two years into college, and it was time to finally find a real job (read: unpaid internship). About a hundred applications later, and I was offered a summer internship at The National Children’s Cancer Society. It was ideal career-wise since I’d be dabbling in marketing communications, social media management and getting a feel for the non-profit scene. But it was also ideal life-wise. Transformative really in how I thought about careers. The NCCS is all about passion. The organization is on a very clear-cut mission to help childhood cancer survivors and their families. I can only speak for the marketing side of the organization, but every decision, from the organization’s re-branding to the monthly survivor spotlight story, was important. Each decision carried a heavier weight, i.e. these cancer survivors. It’s the kind of work that not only sustains you but motivates you and encourages you to keep working. It’s the kind of the work that inspires you to jump in the deep end and reach out to people who are fighting cancer, ignorant of cancer or scared of cancer.

So here I am, mid-twenties, and just starting to realize and accept cancer’s role in my life. I never really knew it until I started to think about the big question, “how does cancer affect me?” And darn it, that sneaky little sucker has affected me a lot. It’s made me appreciate a family member more; it’s made me cast off a clichéd life for a more grounded one; it’s made my work less self-centered and more others-centered. So for that, thanks cancer.


Sunday, February 5, 2012

What Is The Why? Foundation

ABOUT THE WHY? FOUNDATION

THE ORGANIZATION: The Why? Foundation is a cancer resource center being created by A.W. Gryphon as a response to her April 2011 breast cancer diagnosis.

THE WESBITE: The Why? Foundation website due to launch in late 2012 will serve as an easy-to-use resource website which offers information on all cancers in a clear and straightforward manner, the presentation and access being based on the understanding that cancer fighters and caretakers are generally overwhelmed and stressed for time and energy.

FIGHTER BAGS: As The Why? Foundation evolves Fighter Bags will be introduced. Fighter Bags will be made available to anyone with a cancer diagnosis and will include a selection of donated products intended to help each cancer fighter recipient mentally, physically and emotionally.

THE BLOG: The Why? Foundation blog is up and running. Intended to share news, inspiration and tid bits on everything from diet to research to people making a difference this is more of an informal blog open to and interested in a wide range of cancer related information.

ABOUT A.W. GRYPHON

Allison W. Gryphon is a novelist, filmmaker and breast cancer fighter with a passion for story and an undying appetite for living life to the fullest. On April 10, 2011 Allison found a lump in her breast. On April 13th she was diagnosed with stage IIIa breast cancer. On May 3rd she had a mastectomy and lymph node dissection. Allison has since been through chemotherapy, breast reconstruction, lymphedema therapy and radiation. During the process she stuck to her boot camp pilates classes, researched the foods, products and exercises that would keep her strong and continued working with minimal time off.

Allison was never sick during chemotherapy. Her recovery from both surgeries went remarkably well. Her hair has started growing at quick rate… And on a daily basis someone is coming to her wanting to know how she did it. People with cancer, friends and family of people with cancer, parents looking for new healthy habits to share with their children, people who have questions about cancer that they are too afraid to ask… the list goes on and for reasons which she can’t quite explain people are simply comfortable with Allison and want to hear what she has to say. She does her best to make time for everyone.

Allison had cancer, but her decision not to let cancer have her turned the experience into what she says is the best thing that ever happened to her. As a woman and as an artist she has become more than she ever imagined and happiness is something that she understands on an entirely new and profound level.

On the creative side, Allison’s first novel, Blood Moon, is out on shelves worldwide and her first feature film, La Cucina, premiered on Showtime in December of 2010. La Cucina won the honor of ‘Best Picture’ at both The Beloit International Film Festival and the Los Angeles Backlot Film Festival, as well as ‘Best Screenplay’ at the Bragacine Festival International de Cinema in Portugal. In April of 2010, Ms. Gryphon launched a movie and TV insider interview column called Monday Morning Hollywood at Examiner.com. In January of 2011, she began A.W. Gryphon’s Bits & Pieces, a Flash Fiction blog, which serves as an outlet for a wide array of genres and works.

Allison is currently working on the next book in her Blood Moon series as well as producing a documentary about dealing with cancer in our modern world, writing about her cancer journey, lending her body to a series of photographs documenting the breast cancer process and raising awareness for various causes, including Tippi Hedren’s Roar Foundation, where she is an active member of the Advisory Board.

ABOUT THE FEATURE DOCUMENTARY WHAT THE F-@# IS CANCER AND WHY DOES EVERYBODY HAVE IT?

I’m working to make the film I wanted to see when I was diagnosed with cancer. – Allison W. Gryphon

On April 10, 2011 Allison W. Gryphon found a lump in her breast. On April 13th she was diagnosed with stage IIIa breast cancer. Her immediate instinct was to pick up a camera and start asking questions. Not only for herself, but for all of us.

What The F-@# Is Cancer and Why Does Everybody Have It? is one cancer fighter’s journey of hope into the medical unknowns and emotional avalanche that is the cancer crisis.

What the f-@# is cancer and why does everybody have it? Perhaps dropping the f-bomb in the question and title is a bit extreme, but so is the fact that an estimated 1 in 3 people will be diagnosed with cancer in our lifetime.

What The F-@# Is Cancer and Why Does Everybody Have It? is not a film about a disease and what it is to have cancer medically speaking. This is a documentary about people. Average, ordinary and extraordinary people who were going on with their lives from day to day and then one day found themselves on the other end of a frightening diagnosis.

Through a series of interviews and shared journeys, What The F-@# Is Cancer and Why Does Everybody Have It? will take you through the facts, the questions, the unknowns, and the theories of what cancer is and why it is so prevalent in the modern world. The knowledge will unfold through the shared experiences of cancer fighters, friends and families of cancer fighters along with experts on western medicine, eastern medicine, alternative therapies and related fields.

For many, cancer is a cell under a microscope. For others it is a symbolic ribbon, a local fund raiser or a jar calling for help in the checkout line at the grocery store. For Allison W. Gryphon, cancer is a disease too big for how smart we are. It is a question that we should have more answers to.

“More personal to my experience, cancer is standing in the shower after your first biopsy all alone and having been told that keeping the scab intact is the most important thing, then pulling the tape off under the water as instructed and taking the entire scab off with it. Cancer is the horror of not knowing what to do standing in that shower all alone at six in the morning, before the doctor is in, and not trusting anyone else to tell you everything is going to be alright. For me Cancer is being closer to yourself than you ever imagined. It’s knowing who your friends, family and dedicated co-workers really are. It is a clarity, almost indescribable, about what is and isn’t important in life; enjoying a walk on the beach on a level you could have never imagined and truly tasting the sweetness of a fresh strawberry for the first time.”

Cancer is something different to each individual person going through it. It’s all relevant and understanding what cancer is to each person affected by it is just as important to the process as the cells being studied under the microscope. Cancer is about science and study and the practice of medicine, but most importantly cancer is about people. What The F-@# Is Cancer and Why Does Everybody Have It? is about understanding and celebrating those people. It’s about really hearing their voices and being invited in to those experiences in a way that will allow the viewer to walk away with inspiration, questions, hope, understanding and hopefully a desire to understand more and make things happen.

Directed by A.W. Gryphon
Produced by Alan Caudillo, A.W. Gryphon, Jackie Linder Olson, Justin Stirling


The film is currently in production and due to be completed in winter of 2012.

LIKE WHAT THE F-@# IS CANCER AND WHY DOES EVERYBODY HAVE IT? on FaceBook for updates and news about the film.