THE WHY? FOUNDATION - TOUCHSTONE THURSDAY
by Alia Tarraf
“I felt like I was
really living before I got cancer. But
now I'm living in full color. Just
yesterday I drove ten hours round trip to surprise my husband at the finish
line of his 100-mile Best Buddies bike race [for children with Down syndrome]
he did in honor of our daughter, Sadie. I
brought Sadie with me. It was a surreal
adventure that I would have never thought about doing before the cancer. It was an easy decision to drive the distance
just to see Todd's face when he crossed the finished line. I'm incredibly thankful to be a girl with an
attitude of gratitude. I'm now seeing
all my lemons turn to lemonade and life is so sweet.”
Heidi Virkus, a vibrant stay-at-home 39-year old mother
of three, was seven months pregnant when she was diagnosed with breast
cancer. It was early in the
morning. Her mother-in-law had just
arrived to help her with the kids. Ten
days earlier she had found a lump that both she and her OB thought was just her
mammary glands getting ready to produce milk. Her mother-in-law had just shut the door when
the phone rang. It was Heidi’s doctor. Everything stopped. Heidi quickly walked into the garage, her
full belly carrying her unborn child, and came undone.
Already fighting Crohn’s disease, Heidi had to decide
whether or not to have chemo during her last trimester. What would it do to her healthy baby? What would it do to her family? She decided she had to take the chance in order
to live. So she could be there for her
other children, Sam (8), Sophie (5), Sadie (3), her adoring husband, Todd, and
the baby on the way.
After Heidi’s fourth chemo session, she gave birth to an unscathed,
perfect little baby girl named Sarah surrounded
by her cheering committee. Two weeks later, she started another four
rounds of chemo. When that ended, she
had a double mastectomy. Then later, a
total hysterectomy. And after all that, she had final breast reconstruction. Through
it all, Heidi’s faith, family and friends lifted her up and helped her fight
through, especially Sadie. Sadie acts as an anti-depressant,
teaching Heidi, along with her husband and other children, more about herself
than anything or anyone ever could.
WHAT KIND OF CANCER DID YOU FIGHT?
I had breast cancer. It was an isolated tumor
that did not spread to the nodes.
IS THERE A HISTORY OF CANCER IN YOUR FAMILY?
My aunt has ovarian cancer and my paternal grandparents
had both lung and colon cancer.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CANCER CAME FROM?
No, possibly my dad’s side. I lived on the edge for many years, abusing
my body and mind with behaviors that could have contributed, but I'm really not
sure.
DID YOU THINK YOU WERE AT RISK?
No. I have been
eating healthy for the past sixteen-plus years, meditating daily and living an
anti-cancer lifestyle.
WHAT WAS YOUR RECOVERY FROM SURGERY AND TREATMENT LIKE?
The anticipation was worse than the actual
treatment. I take longer to heal because
I have Crohn’s disease. The hardest part
of the healing was after the double mastectomy. I have a high threshold for pain but the
drains and wounds gave me debilitating pain.
Losing my hair and lashes was incredibly humbling, especially for
someone like me who is slightly hair-obsessed.
I love hair and makeup.
DID YOU EXPERIENCE ANY SIDE EFFECTS FROM TREATMENTS OR
SURGERY?
Yes. I used and
still use acupuncture for the side effects which include: sensitive teeth, numb
extremities, nausea, exhaustion, insomnia, light sensitivity, joint pain and hair
loss.
WHAT IS YOUR MEDICAL MAINTENANCE SCHEDULE NOW?
Visiting my oncologist and surgeons every six months.
HOW IMPORTANT DID YOU FIND DIET AND EXERCISE IN GETTING
THROUGH TREATMENT AND SURGERY?
Early in my chemo treatments, I exercised but as the
chemo built up in my system, and the more pregnant I became, I just didn’t
have the energy anymore. I fed my body
three square meals a day, all with anti-cancer foods. The food was fuel and medicine.
HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH THE DAY-TO-DAY OF YOUR CANCER
FIGHT?
I was armed with the support of my friends, family and
fellowship. I was completely taken care
of. I surrendered to the healing
process, but fought the cancer with everything I had. I surrounded myself with positive people,
asked for help, let people help me and actually enjoyed many moments. I’ve thought about writing a book called the
“Sweet Spots of Cancer” because I was so surprised that I embraced the process
with looking for the good.
HOW DID YOU FIGHT CANCER EMOTIONALLY?
My anti-depressants were my kids, especially pure and
sweet Sadie. I just had and do have so
much to live for. Even knowing that my
unborn child needed me kept me going. My
hubby and I grew closer. I continued to
do as much life as I could. Practicing
my faith and belief in God helped tremendously.
I already had walked through having a special needs child. We knew we
could handle cancer.
WHAT DOES BEING A SURVIVOR FEEL LIKE?
I am woman. Hear
me roar! I am tougher than I thought. It’s just such a huge relief. On the other hand, it’s super hard to readjust
to “normal” life. I’ve had a whirlwind
of a year and during that time I had a baby too! It’s almost like I’m waking up and saying,
“Oh, wow, when did this fourth kid come and live here?”. The
calm after the storm with just gray days are actually sometimes more difficult
than the high drama of the past cancer-fighting year.
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER CANCER FIGHTERS?
Take good care of yourself. Not just for you, but for the people around
you. Ask for help. Sleep. Write. Shop
a little. Go on walks. Watch TV. Read. Talk.
Cry. Cry some more. Laugh. Eat
Well. Pray. Thank.
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR THE MEDICAL PROFESSION?
Keep an open mind to new treatments and ideas. Anything is possible.
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR FRIENDS, FAMILY AND
CO-WORKERS OF CANCER FIGHTERS?
Buckle your seatbelts and put your own oxygen mask on
first. I made sure my husband and family
were not completely putting their lives on hold. Find healthy outlets. You’re fighting this together. It’s sometimes harder for the caregiver than even
the patient.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE FUTURE? WHAT ARE YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS?
I want to live until I’m 120 years old. I had kids a little later in life so I want
to be a fully functional grandma someday. I just want to be healthy and enjoy watching my
kids grow up and make life choices that support healthy and happy living. I have become more of a giver because of this
process. The people in my life poured money,
food, time, energy and love my way when I was sick. It’s time to give back.
FOR YOU IN ONE WORD, WHAT IS CANCER?
Life.
SMILE FOR CANCER FIGHTERS!
Click here to visit The Why? Foundation
and add your smile to our WALL OF SMILES
www.thewhyfoundation.org/wall-of-smiles/
